


For Queen and Country

by vials



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, like... a whole lot of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11515917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vials/pseuds/vials
Summary: Out of necessity, Q accompanies James on the field. When James warned him their field work sometimes involved doing things you would never want to do, Q didn't quite expectthis. James, for his part, is probably having a little too much fun.





	For Queen and Country

Their whispering was frantic and barely audible over the sound of the bar around them. Thankfully it was so busy that nobody was paying them any attention, because had someone taken a closer look at them they would have seen a very peculiar sight indeed. James had his hands on Q’s upper arms, gripping him firmly and staring urgently into his eyes. Q was shaking his head rapidly, his glasses slipping down his nose and his face bright red.

“No. No, James. Absolutely not.”

“Q. You said that if you accompanied me on the field – which you _begged_ to do, by the way, because you _insisted_ there was no other way – you would obey my every command.”

“I didn’t mean –”

“You said you would accept my authority as the superior operative in field conditions and you would trust my judgment.”

“I would never have said I trusted your judgement –”

“You said that anything I told you to do in order to guarantee the success of the mission, you would cooperate.”

“That was before I –”

“It’ll take me two minutes, Q. Maximum.”

“James, _I don’t do karaoke,_ ” Q spluttered out, trying not to get too caught up in the ridiculousness of it all but failing miserably. “I’m not going up there and making a complete fool of myself in front of everyone. I will not do it. It’ll cause far too much attention to be put on me and I’m the one who doesn’t know a damn thing about getting out of such a situation. Really, if it’s a distraction you want, you should do the karaoke and I’ll sneak through the door. It’s a keypad lock system, right?”

“Yes.”

James was smiling at Q’s little outburst and Q knew for a damn fact that he was enjoying every second of this.

“I can get through that in forty seconds. Fifty, if it’s a tough one. I would be through it a lot easier and a lot more quickly than you would be using blunt force, so really I think my qualifications are better here.”

Q folded his arms and set his jaw. James considered him for a moment, amused. 

“Which means,” James said slowly. “ _I’ll_ have to do the karaoke.”

“Yes,” Q said, jutting his chin out. “You will.”

A moment of silence, and then something mischievous flickered across James’s face and he let go of Q’s upper arms, winking at him and moving towards the front of the bar. Q stood for a moment in disbelief, and then whirled around, his heart thudding.

“James!” he hissed. “Oh, shit. James!”

It was no use – there were too many people and it was far too loud. James would never hear him, and Q running through the crowd to get to him would draw far too much attention. He was already uncomfortably aware of the fact that there were several incredibly dangerous people dotted around the room who could have their eyes on him at any moment, and Q didn’t want to risk bringing their eyes to him by elbowing his way through a crowd of drunk revellers. He had no choice. He would have to go with the role swap – after all, it _had_ been his idea.

He began to edge subtly towards the corner of the room, heading for the service door that would lead to the hallway where the door they needed was apparently located. Once it was open he would be free to let James take over, but right now it was, unfortunately, up to him. His heard was thudding in his chest as he considered just what it was he was about to do, and how screwed he would be if he was caught. He didn’t think he would be able to physically push himself through the door and into the hallway, because surely his nerves would be too much by then, but he quickly realised that there were worse things to endure that night.

The realisation came in the form of James’s exaggerated crooning to _Love Shack_ by the B-52s. All eyes snapped to the front of the room in order to find out just who was making such a racket and, wincing, Q threw himself through the door and hopefully out of earshot.

“There are people in the world,” he muttered to himself, as he hurried down the brightly lit hallway, “that one hundred per cent, seriously, _truly_ think that espionage is _cool_.”


End file.
